The Power of Pattern Interrupt
Very often.. Arguments can be the most destructive thing a relationship can face. May it be arguments with your loved ones, family, friends, etc. One solution that I’ve found whenever uncomfortable discussion occurs, there is a need to have a ‘sudden change of topic’ to interrupt the pattern of madness. The real aim is to break the pattern or state of the friend who is in an awkward or angry state to a more pleasant state. Well, think about it, who would want to hang out with guys who constantly place them in very unpleasant state?
So this proves that the patterns can be interrupted and change – in an instant second!
One presuppositions of NLP which I personally like a lot is ”There are no resistant people, only inflexible communicators. Effective communicators accept and utilize all communication presented to them!”
A few years ago, there was an anti-smoking campaign which suggested that anytime someone you love reaches for a cigarette, give him/her a KISS instead! This KISS can produce a whole new experience that can cast doubts on the wisdom of the previous one. Also, it interrupts the pattern of reaching for a cigarette. Cool huh? Do try this out if your loved ones smoke and you would like to help them to stop!
Another interesting story of PATTERN INTERRUPT or BREAK STATE is about Richard Bandler, one of the co-founder of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming).
He was visiting a mental institution and had to deal with a man who claimed that he was Jesus Christ. So one day, Bandler walked in, met this man and asked “Are you Jesus?” The man replied, “Yes, my son”. Bandler said, “I’ll be back in a minute.” This left the man kinda confused.
Within minutes, Bandler came back with a measuring tape, asking the man to hold out his arms. Bandler measured the length of his arms and his height from head to toe. Then, he left.. the man who claimed to be Jesus Christ became more concerned..
Then, Bandler came back with a hammer, few large spiked nails, and a long set of boards. He began to pound them into the form of a cross. The curious man asked Bandler on his intention of doing such a work.
As Bandler put the last nails in the cross, he asked again, “Are you Jesus?”. The man said again, “Yes my son.” Bandler then answered, “Then you know why I’m here.”
Someway, somehow.. the man suddenly recalled who he really was. he realized that his old pattern didn’t seem like such a good idea afterall. He started yelling, “I’m not Jesus! I’m not Jesus!”
Moral of the story?
As what Lao Tzu once taught me,
“Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment”